Happy Moment ;)

Sukacita dimaklumkan bahawa anda ditawarkan tempat untuk mengkuti program di UiTM:
We are pleased to inform you that you have been offered to study at UiTM, as below:

No Pelajar /
Student No : 2010*6*****

Semester /
Semester : DECEMBER 2010

No Kad Pengenalan/paspot
NRIC/Passport No : 84040214****

Mod Pengajian /
Mode of Study : SP - PART TIME

Kod Program /
Code of Programme : LW775

Kampus /Campus : UITM SHAH ALAM

Nama Program /
Name of Programme : MASTER OF LAWS (COMMERCIAL LAW)


Alhamdulillah..thank u Allah!

TAHNIAH!

- kamu tido saye pegi keje
- saye bekerja, kamu main game
- kamu pegi library, saye tido
- kamu pegi kelas, saye pegi keje
- saye buatkan assignment, kamu mengem!
- saye cipta perkataan 'mengem' (main game) dalam bebelan saye kepada kamu yang asik berdota
- kamu tido, saye tendang kamu turun katil supaya pegi kelas
- selepas ditendang, kamu bangun kononnya ke kelas..lepas sejam kamu balik dan mengaku kamu tidak ke kelas tetapi tidur dalam kereta kerana malas mendengar bebelan saye..saye kecewa dan terus membebel lagi
- bile kamu nak exam, saye lebih cuak dari kamu
- kamu tido, saye bacakan nota untuk kamu
- kamu pegi study group, saye studykan untuk kamu di rumah
- kamu stay up untuk study, saye pon stay up untuk mengawasi kamu sebab takut kamu tertido sambil membaca
- bile kamu menghafal, saye pon ikut menghafal
- bile kamu mengira, saye buat-buat interested walaupun saye benci kira-kira
- kamu bangun awal ke exam, saye bangun awal mengucap selamat di depan pintu
- bile result keluar, saye checkkan sebab kamu cuak nak check sendiri
- bile kamu fail, saye hadiahkan bebelan ikhlas
- bile kamu pass, terpadam peluang saye untuk membebel
- selepas 3 tahun saye di alam pekerjaan, akhirnya kamu berjaya menyusul!

1 OGOS 2010: Kamu convo! TAHNIAH! Saye sangat gembira! :)

p/s: nanti saya bagi hadiah istimewa untuk kamu ye! ;))

Rindu

Saye rindu si dia..

Pintu Rezeki

Allah telah membuka lagi pintu rezeki!
Alhamdulillah..
Lepas duit loan kete bulan2 :)

Destinasiku

Memilih selekoh paling tajam,
Menyusur lorong paling panjang,
Bertemu jalan paling gelap,
Meredah liku paling sukar,
Hanya untuk tersesat di simpang paling akhir.

Tersungkur menyoal pada diri,
Masih cerahkah mata yang melihat?
Masih waraskah akal yang menghitung?
Masih berdegupkah hati yang merasa?
Atau masih tetap dipencaturan yang sama?

Mengapa di sini destinasinya?
Mungkinkah kerana ini memang takdirnya?
Masih butuh tersasar walau berkali-kali mencuba!

Parasit!

Elegi menjadi barah hanya kerana parasit yang sama menumpang terlalu lama!

Terpulanglah

Terpulanglah pada hati untuk terus berkaca beretakkan
Terlekat sembilu yang menyiat-nyiat luka parah
Menitis darah pada parut-parut lama
Yang tak pernah mungkin hilangnya

Terpulanglah pada rasa untuk terus sakit
Meniti liku-liku penuh pancaroba
Pendam dalam-dalam biar tersemat rapi di lubung paling jauh
Atau terlayang-layang terapung tanpa hala

Terpulanglah pada kaki yang mengambil anak-anak tapak melangkah
Mengorak maju menuju cahaya
Atau tertoleh-toleh mencari bayang yang tak pernah mungkin terpadam

Terpulanglah pada diri yang empunya badan dan akal fikiran..

Saye, Die dan Bunga! :)

Saye: sayang..nnt i operate u dtg hospital melawat i tak?
Die: mestilah!
Saye: u bawak bunga untuk i tak?
Die: bawak!
Saye: u bawak bunga ape?
Die: bunga rose, lily n carnation
Saye: yeaa! I masuk hospital lame tau..Nak bunga hari2!
Die: ok! Nanti i beli kat cameron!
Saye: alaaa..nanti u pegi cameron tak bawak i :(
Die: ok..ok..i beli kat sini je..
Saye: :) i nak u bawak bunga hari2 tau!
Die: yer..

:)(:

Bertuah!

Orang kata,
Allah menghapuskan dosa-dosa kecil kita bila kita sakit!
Kalau hari-hari saya selsema maka banyaklah dosa-dosa kecil saya yang telah terhapus!

Orang kata juga,
Bila Allah menurunkan ujian kepada kita,
Maksudnya, Dia sayangkan kita!
Kalau hidup saya macam roller coaster berani mati,
Maknanya, Dia sangat mengambil berat dan sayangkan sayalah selama ni!

Alhamdulillah..
Terima kasih Tuhan kerana memberi saya sakit
dan menurunkan pelbagai ujian dalam hidup saya!

Saya sangat bertuah!

Forgive..and Forget?

It's easier to forgive than forget.

It took some movements of lips, a few drops of saliva and a convincing poker face to forgive someone but it will take a great unfortunate event to have amnesia and forget something..

According to Fly.fm..yesterday was Flirting Day! guess what i did yesterday? Stay in and sleep! ;) Happy Flirting Day pillows and bed..

...but..

Im now writing a real blog. Like what real people do! Been locking myself in my room for days now (of coz I do come out to go to work)..right after work, back in my room. Doing what? Apart from sleeping, im in marathon to finish the ‘How I Met Your Mother’ series. Been into it too much until I really got carried away. N’way, in one of the episode, they were talking about ‘but’..let’s rewind to my real life for a bit.. I just (still feel like it ‘just’ happened but honestly, it happened about 6 months ago) broke up with my ex. We were supposed to get married. Bought both engagement n wedding rings already, bought kain for baju tunang, bought the hantarans and the decorations, went to see the pelamin, did survey for the food and booked the venue already! Yes, that was how close things were to the actual event. THEN, two months before our engagement day, the unbelievable thing happened! We broke up! Why? Simple, he’s a chicken, a jackass and has no balls (literally! Although I hope it’s for real)! what makes me say that? Hmm..simple, someone told his parents that I smoke and showed them pictures of me wearing bikinis (which was taken way before I met him)..being typical parents, they were disappointed with me and called off the whole wedding thingy. HE on the other hand, refused to (too chicken or doesn’t love me as much as he said he does) stand up for me. Knowing that his reputation will be tarnished by standing up for me, (because what he did without his parents knowledge is, trust me, wayyy worst than me! At least, my parents are aware with the things that I do..EVERY SINGLE THING! even the bad and crazy ones)..but him, just pray hard that you could be a God damn good actor in front of your parents or im sure they will get a heart attack realizing, a girl who used to wear a bikini is way better than a guy who is a womanizer and used to be an alcoholic! His refusal to stand up for me, is nothing. His mom thinking that his son is an angel and sending me rude and outrages sms-es is still not the bad part, treating our breakup as just another normal breakup and found himself a new girlfriend a couple of months later, still not the worst part! THE WORST PART is.., although he already has a new girlfriend (who is nice, naïve and innocent), he is still being a jackass! Here’s why..While his girlfriend is in hospital bed in JB, just undergone an operation..guess what he has been doing in KL? Haha..i don’t think I have to explain it here..they are all the *censored* stuffs. Nuff said that, he forgot that I have 5 years legal trainings and I keep my evidences well! And if these evidences (the photos, the sms-es, the voice/video calls) came to his gf’s knowledge, im very sure she would want to Clorox every single part of her skin that has a direct contact with him ;) yes, what he did was not before he met her, but during the period that they are in relationship and while she’s sick! Guys and their lust..they could never be separated! Did I mentioned that he’s planning to marry this girl? Haha..yes, he is..i don’t know how he’s going to live with all the guilt if he does marry this girl..or maybe, he is just too stone hearted and will never have that guilt.. Ok, back on track! The ‘but’ thingy..these couple of days, I’ve been collecting my ‘but(s)’..the reason? To perfect my imperfectness..Im too worn out with my recent failure in “love” so now im trying to evaluate myself..to change all the negative part of me and be a better person so that when I meet a new guy, I’ll be closer to perfect..What’s a ‘but’? haha..ok..let say you want to introduce me to a guy. You’ll tell him, “hey look! You should meet my friend, Tisha! She’s really nice, she’s pretty, has a good job..bla bla bla (and the list goes on)..”..In that conversation, you’ll bring forward all the positive part of me and will be leaving out all the bad ones you know bout me because it’ll defeat the purpose of you wanting that guy to get to know me if he knows the bad side of me as well..so, I want to know the negative part..the ‘but’ that you conceal… ‘she’s nice, she’s cute..but..?? After doing some survey, here are the list of my ‘but(s)’.. Friend No. 1: High ego (rejected! That’s not a ‘but’..reason: guys always think their ego is bigger so dropping my ego will be a challenge to him..and guys love challenges..so, automatically, the ‘but’ became a plus point!) Friend No. 2: Huge ego! (again, denied as to the same reason) Friend No. 3: Big ego! (DENIED!) Friend No. 4: “she’s very pretty but although she might look nice on the outside, she’s actually not that ‘nice’ (still, that’s not a ‘but’..guys love naughty girls ;)) Friend No. 5: Cunning (could be both a ‘but’ and a plus point) Friend No. 6: “Need huge attention, jealousy, always **censored**, easily insecure, self centered, can be a bitch sometimes, sensitive, manipulative, need to give her space when she asked for it” (this one is tough, I don’t know whether he’s trying to generalize all girls just for the sake of answering my question or he’s actually referring to me because some of it is true but some of it, hmmm..even my ex-s doesn’t think so) Im still collecting my ‘but(s)’ so, this post might be edited from time to time ;) p/s: this is one hella long post!

If you dont go after what you want,
You'll never have it!
If you dont ask,
The answer is always NO!
If you dont step forward,
You're always in the same place

~Norah Roberts (America's favourite novelist)

Nyah! Shooh!

Dah marah
dah hina
dah herdik
dah pekik
dah lolong
entah bila nak faham!

Pergi la jauh-jauh
terus hilang pon takpe
kau telah muflis dari tingginya rasa yang pernah ku beri!

Kau Bukan Manusia

Kau serupa Iblis
yang lohong dadanya
tak punya hati atau rasa

Akalmu mungkin sebesar zarah
atau mungkin tidak pernah tercipta

Dirimu terlalu durjana
tak layak bergelar manusia
binatang pon lebih luhur pekertinya

Lahirmu ke alam fana
pastinya hanya untuk mengundang murka

You should burn yourself in hell
jump straight into the fiery well
never ever think of coming back to life
as your presence has been denied

Kaulah sehina-hina makhluk yang pernah tercipta!

;)

Will be hanging out wif the girls tonight.. at last! am relinquishing the feminine side of me..too much lingering wif guys had somehow increased my testosterone hormone! not good!! ;))

p/s: wow! im actually blogging in here! hahaha

Tishakan kuat ;)

Tepis, tepuk, tampar
teguhkan pasak khilafmu..
pegang kukuh pendirianmu
ikat kemas jalinan tutur awalmu
teguhkan kata putusmu

Bukan ini takdirmu..
padam semua ralat coretan dulu
bukan ini titik noktahnya
masih ada simpang siurnya
masih ada cebis cahaya di celah keping kecelakaanmu

Bilang pada suara kecil yang menganak tirikan hatimu..
Herdik setiap bisikan syaitan yang tegar menjatuhkan egomu
Cemuh segala godaan iblis yang menggoncang keutuhanmu

Jasadmu, nalurimu, rohanimu..
Hanya di telunjuk jarimu sendiri..

Kerja

Saya tak suka buat kerja ni
tapi saya buat jugak
orang kata..kerja tu amanah..
suka ke tak suka
penat ke tak penat
kena buat jugak

Tapi..kerja ni bukan kerja saya
kerja saya menjerit-jerit dari meja
menjeling-jeling dari fail yang bertingkat
dan melambai-lambai dari inbox email yang penuh
Kenapa saya perlu ada di sini,
dan buat kerja ni?
Ni bukan kerja saya

Kenapa?
"Saya Yang Menurut Perintah" agaknya..
atau mungkin juga
"Berkhidmat Untuk Negara"

geez~! blwekkk~!!!

Questions..

Questions are suppose to be answered
they are suppose to be understood, entangled and entertained to..

Questions not answered
are like kites with no strings
trees with no fruits
plants with no flowers
or..even houses with no residents

Questions are often not answered
either unwilling to be answered
or not knowing the answers
or even clear refusal to answer

Whatever the reasons are..
Questions either in your mind,
expressly uttered
or silently babbled
not necessarily being answered

No answer means no conclusion
No conclusion means no decision
No decision means staying in status quo..

Mengorak lagi..

Merangkak masih di tapak yang sama
Pada fasa yang sama
Pada kekuatan yang sama

Terkuis kiri dan kanan
Terhantuk lagi dan lagi
Kadangnya tersungkur
..bangun kembali
Kadangnya selesa
..tersedar sendiri

Dongak syukur pada setiap hembus nafas yang di ambil
Jatuh, bangun..
Panas, sejuk..
Tetap bertadah pada langit
Alhamdulillah..

Transition

Patut memang patut
mahu dah ada rasa
tersentuh, terketuk, terkuis
nak cuba, nak mula
tapi bila?
berani ke?
tak boleh tarik balik
hingus dah tak ada
kedut dah menggila
tak sedar lagi ke bila!

Tergamam! Perit!
Kenapa cari?
Bodoh!
Sakit?
Dah tahu!
Sendiri mahu!
Sendiri cari!
Padan la muka!

Quotes

Get used to a rough life as luxury does not last forever
- Umad ibn Al-Khattab

There are two who fail in life; those who are not efficient and those who do only the asked
- Lukman Al-Hakim

Terguris, tertoreh
menusuk dalam-dalam..
Luka berdarah
bernanah..
Pedih, perit, sakit
tangis
banjir sekawah
Ya, tidak
mahu, tak hendak
Cuba lagi!
Paksaan?
Mungkin juga
Tekanan?
Pasti!

Meaningless

What is night without a moon?
What is sky without clouds?
What is earth without trees?
What is sea without fishes?
What is life without a heart?
What is me without you?

Do shredded heart always feel this torn?
Where's the happiness that has been sworn?

Can someone wake me from this nightmare?
Life is NOT SUPPOSE TO BE this UNFAIR!!

One Wish

Have you ever wished upon the stars
for the skies to be brighter than they are?
Have you ever called to the fluffy clouds
to shove away from staying in crowd?
Have you ever babbled towards the moon
not to be here yet too soon?

Have you ever whisper to all the birds flying high above
and utter to the strangled roots deep below the earth
For the wind to move smoother
and the ground to be greener?

Have you ever prayed really hard, really, really hard,
with your eyes closely shut
and your tears slowly slide,
For one wish..
Just one wish..
to be at sight?
to be heard..
to be abide?

Somewhere There

I believe i could be there
might not be easy at first glare
but i do believe i could be there

i believe i could be there, somewhere,
where my tears are all dried up
where my thoughts are all cleared up
i believe i could be there
where my soul is reborn
and my heart is less torn

I believe i could be there
Where I could stop searching
Where I could stop dreaming
and stop hoping

I believe i could be there
Eternally there
No more believing, but already there
I believe someday, I will be there
Somewhere there

Hold On To Your Thoughts

Hold on to your thoughts,
Im not there yet,
hold on to your thoughts,
I might not have it yet

Dont let it loose,
I might be there,
just right where you are,
but not quite yet

Hold on to your thoughts,
Im trying to be there,
am reaching to it,
am climbing every steps it takes,

Hold on to your thoughts
and dont let it loose,
I could swing by,
but i dont think that's what you want,
and not what i fancy too

Hold on to your thoughts
and dont let it loose,
You and I,
We both will be there,
I know that!
and you should too!

Rasa & Jiwa

Menggunung, membuak,
Bergelora, bergenang,
Merah padam,
Hitam legam,
Kelabu asap,
Terkumat-kamit, terketar-ketar,
Terduduk, tersungkur,
REBAH

Sakit la!!
tanak sakit!
Tapi tetap sakit!
Kenapa sakit lagi?

You have to start somewhere, someday and somehow

so here I am, taking the baby steps
to start jotting down all the craps
Somehow forgotten how it feels like
crossing fingers it'll be hype!

~tisha